sleep schedule..

oh am i in for it on Tuesday! i haven't gotten to bed before 2 this entire (since the spring break was so excruciatingly long) break. it is somewhat ridiculous... and i am going to suffer some hideous consequences when school comes back around to slap us all in the face.
but don't get me wrong, the nights i stayed up that late were not for nothing. the first night i was with Ashley, we giggled well into the night at my house. getting us both in some serious trouble. but it was totally worth it, we never really see each other at the loony "i'm completely exhausted and everything is the funniest thing ever" phase, and we went there and back a few times over the course of the night. it was a nice bonding for us.
and the other night i was with Lizethe. we watched "while you were sleeping" with the fantastically diverse Sandra Bullock as the main character. we both ended up crying at least once during the movie. After the movie we ended up talking for over two hours. yet it only seemed like minutes. it was probably one of the greatest heart to hearts i have ever had. where we both left the conversation touched and relieved. if we weren't already sleep deprived, i'm sure the two of us could have talked all night long.
i just love those conversations where you feel 8,956.732 times better after wards.
but i painted my room! :) it's really fantastic. i've had the same room (with slight variations...) since i moved into my castle over five years ago. i had a hideous "wheat straw" color on 3 of my walls, and a hideous pastel purple on the fourth. the change was beyond over due. i now have one happy yellow wall and three "warm" gray walls. i absolutely adore my room now. i actually enjoy my time spent in there now!

this^^ is my room. well kind of. i now have furniture to accompany my lonely bed.

it still kind of has that painty smell in it... so i am still sleeping in the guest room until the paint smell subsides.

i got my Young Womanhood Recognition today! :) finally. after being in young womens for.. 5 years. i'm very glad to have it over with though. being a teenager is already busy enough! it was a rewarding experience, don't get me wrong. i'm grateful for my leaders and my mom for pushing me to finish. i am also very glad i got to keep the keys to my car...

i cannot wait to wear it with pride. :) it just screams or maybe whispers "I am a Daughter of God, 'so come what may'". :)

i feel as if i'm not exactly helping the bad sleep schedule situation with blogging. haha goodnight y'all.

thanks for reading.

--Samm

festering frustrations

i've felt the need to post... frustrations have been festering inside me for a few days and i need to get them all out so i can sort things out in my head and get on with life.
honesty has been on my mind a lot. i think a problem very prevalent in today's world is telling the partial truth, so it isn't really considered "lying", but not being completely honest. i think we're all guilty of this, whether we know it or not. i know i am, i've told the partial truth many times. whether to spare someones feelings or to dodge any consequences that accompany the whole truth. but something i've realized is that you feel better when you're completely honest with people. it isn't always the easy path to take, but i know it's the right one. it's just one of those things that people live and learn with, i guess. one of those experiences with experiencing the honesty, or should i say dishonesty is being the person that is lied to. it sucks. it's near the top of the list of the worst feelings to have... being lied to. the feel of betrayal and doubt hurt, and another thing is the loss of trust and faith in the person. like people always post on facebook, trust is like an eraser, it just gets smaller and smaller with every mistake. and that fact totally blows! so maybe we should just be honest with our dealings. now wouldn't that be nice...
i just wish i could figure things all out in my head. i thought for sure i had things going for me for a while, things were going as i had hoped and that was exactly where i liked it... but soon enough something crossed the path and threw everything i had hoped for, through a loop. i guess i need to keep the mindset "if things don't work out, that means God has something better in store" this is an easy state of mind when you keep coasting through all the green lights of life, but you just wait until the yellow and the red come. that's when the trial of the faith comes along. and "that's the point!" i keep telling myself, i'm here on this earth right now to learn aren't i? life is just the test for eternity, if it were easy eternity would stink. "the hard is what makes it great." i'm sure whoever said that was not in the midst of a "bump in the road" or a "red light" in their life.
maybe i should just start giving people the benefit of the doubt. maybe they don't realize their hurting others/me. maybe things in their life aren't going to stellar either... ugh. maybe's are hard sometimes. but maybe they do realize what they're doing is damaging others, and then what? gauly i have some things to sort out.
i'm really not looking forward to school tomorrow, just saying.
but i am planning on getting my application for the pool tomorrow! so tomorrow won't be a total waste. aaand i'm painting my room. :) which should be interesting..
thanks for listening to the vent (kind of) session.

--Samm