finishing what i started.

I've been really vent-y lately... probably a little bit to much compared to the average person, but ah well. we can't all be perfect, right? something I've learned lately is that sometimes things are better left behind rather than sticking around and bothering yourself with the uncertainty and worries. it's just one of those life lessons that i have had to learn on a few occasions. in more ways than one I don't want to let go because of the faith/hope I've invested in the situation. while I know it's ultimately in my best interest to get out while I can and find a happier, more positive situation to be in. for the sake of my sanity and overall happiness.
it's just frustrating because there are people in your life that drive you crazy with their actions, and you just want to set the person straight because they don't understand what they're doing. simply because you want to help, but sometimes you just have to let friends learn for themselves...
^^this was from a few weeks ago, an unfinished draft i figured i should finish. i'm not really sure where to pick up from... i guess it's just weird how quickly friends can change while you're young. i've never been someone who stays with one person for forever, sometimes because of the situation and other times because of my own. but it seemed like days ago i things were on the other side of the spectrum. which makes sense, high school is full of people you love, people you can't stand, and change... not to mention the school part of it. it's not really for the bad, but not really for the good either. but i guess it's something i'll have to accept. it's not like it will be like this forever, right? ...it just seems like an over night change, like one second i was super close with one group than the next second it's changed. which isn't necessarily the case, because it was fairly gradual. we slowly just changed groups. this has happened before though... if you can never really hold onto something is it ever really yours? i guess it's like the quote i had on my mirror "if you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. if you're in a good situation don't worry, it'll change." which is completely true! because once you find happiness, it either falls apart, or something gets in the way. at least in this section of eternity. (i'm still working on my eternal perspective...)
i guess all in all, it is just high school, where nothing is forever. obviously. things will change, the chances are minimal of me marrying someone from my high school/town. which is kind of weird to think of, because it really is all i've ever known.. this little Podunk town of Price, Utah. *random! i was thinking... when i'm at volleyball tournaments and random strangers ask where you're from, and i of course say "Price" or "Carbon"---they either say "Oh yeah i used to live there" or they know someone who has, or they have no clue in the world where it is. random tangent. sorry.* change is just a part of life, probably one of the most difficult parts to accept really. because as humans we like comfort. and change is usually far from it. but can you imagine how stupidly boring life would be if nothing ever changed? or how silly you'd feel in heaven and everything always changed for the good throughout the course of your life on Earth?
i could probably go on for days, but i shouldn't.
this is really random... all of it. but i just felt as if should "finish what i started".
good night reader...
thanks for reading!

updated

it's been almost a month, whoops! :) well well well, a BUNCH has changed lately. alot of new changes on the outside, and on the inside. hmm.. where to begin! I went to Junior Prom! which was a total blast! :) i went in a dress i loved but never imagined myself in, and my date was sooo much fun! it was definitely one of those great days i'll always remember.

The day my mom and I went shopping for the dress etc. was one of the longest days of my life. it was quite the stressful experience, buuut totally worth it in the end. :)

i finally got a job! i got hired at the wave pool as a lifeguard. it was stressful taking the class and the interview process too, but totally worth it (which seems to be a reoccurring theme). i haven't started yet, but i'm super excited/totally nervous to! i'm grateful because i'll no longer have to rely on my mom for money, which will be better for the both of us! and I can begin to save up for college. :)

i'm planning (as of now...) to apply for BYU Idaho. I've always loved Idaho, and it just seems like the right goal to set for now. although the likely hood of that staying that way is still fairly small. i'm still not sure what major i want to go into, but i do know i would like to try to become a seminary teacher. I love the gospel, and i have only felt glimpses of it when i have shared it with other people. and i really do love teaching/speaking. so hopefully that works out!

i've finished a number of really good books lately. one called "Faults in our Stars" by John Green. It was just another one of those books my mom had bought on her kindle and it had popped up on mine, and i needed a new book to read. it's about a girl named Hazel Grace and her short journey through a part of her life with a boy named Augustus Waters. I also should mention it is one of the cancer books. veeerrryyy sad. and very thought provoking too. i'm actually already re-reading the book because i rushed through it so quickly the first time.

I've also finished book one and book two of the Divergent series, which has been actually really thought provoking too. it's about where this society is sanctioned into 5 different factions. It's in the view from a Divergent girl named Beatrice (Tris). It's also a really good book. but I just finished the second book today, and it just came out last week. I haven't really been a reader since this year, I used to hate reading as a kid because I wasn't very good at it and I could never find suitable books for me. which has really caught up to me lately, but there is still time! i have read more in the last six months than i have in my entire life. weird, right? i'm really glad i picked it up though.. i know it will help me throughout the rest of my life, and it will give me something productive to do now.

that pretty much sums it up i guess!

thanks for reading