seven. teen.

what. a. day.
this has definitely been one of my better birthdays. :) not that i can really recall any of them that well, but still! my day started off by waking up later than i wanted to, as usual. i had to leave early to finish a project for financial lit with my husband. and that was a positive way to start off the day. :) then i learned about first-aid in my sports medicine class and we watched a clip from Monty Python. which was great. you know the scene, with the knight that says "none shall pass" and then he ends up getting all of his limbs cut off because of his lack of fighting skills. haha. i need to watch that movie soon. the whole thing! have you ever realized how many times that movie is used throughout our education? yet it is one of the strangest movies, ever? anyways, then i went to choir! where we learned what we scored at small group festival, THEN we played ultimate the whole period. the ALTOS AND BASSES REIGNED SUPREME. :) one of my favorite days in choir by far. then i had a fun birthday lunch at Wendy's with a bunch of my close friends. :) to be completely honest sixth and eight period are kind of a blur. ALTHOUGH. i was technically born at 2:55 on March 15, 1995. so i usually watch for the time just as a special tradition inside my head. it's great because i'm usually almost out of school at that point. well today i went out to my car to get my $79 dollar AP Language test fee check, and as i walked back into the school i looked at my phone and saw that it was 2:55. the first birthday i remember being alone at that time. weird. and i honestly, quietly, whispered "happy birthday Samm." i'm weird. i know.
then i had the life guarding class which was good. Paula gave me brownies. :) i struggled a little bit, but i'm definitely up for the challenge. :) after the life guarding class i went home and showered up so i could go to birthday dinner with my family. we went to Wingers, AND i got shotgun! :) i ordered the same thing i always order which was just as good as the first time! i got sung to, and it scared the living crap out of my mom and i as they walked around the corner. hahah. then i opened up my presents and i got an iHome that changes colors! along with a few flowers and hair things, and new church shoes which i desperately needed. :) then i went home, where i got shotgun on the way back. awesome! :) then i hung out with my friends. Erica and Ozzy picked me up. Ozzy got me a "beautiful" butterfly keychain. Erica got me a new nightgown... a thing of nutella, and earrings. and gum, but as it turns out, the gum wasn't for me, it was for her but she accidentally forgot to take out the gum from the walmart sack the present was in. :) then we went to Smiths and got a 4.99 ghetto birthday cake. :) then we went to share it with our friends at the pool. as it turns out, 4.99 cakes from Smiths aren't the greatest... but it's okay. even if it was the "worst five dollars" Erica ever spent. haha. then i helped clean... happy birthday, right? ;) after that a few of us went to Erica's where we jumped on the bikes and rode around to the highschool track. the ride back was brutal, like, beyond brutal! the hills kicked my butt, and my legs, and my lungs! my legs are still mad at me for it. and they are being loud and clear about it! it was so much fun. but once we had gotten back, we talked for a few minutes and had to leave because in all reality, it is a school night. :/ Lance's car was back at the school, and as Erica dropped us off to go home i got a little choked up as i told my friends how much i love them and how grateful i am for them. i got a ride home from to of my best guy friends. it was a pretty fun ride home. oh, did i mention McKenna got me a cantelope? my least favorite melon, but still. because one time, of the 24th of July this last summer, i ate a BIG BOWL, and i mean BIG BOWL of fruit of all kinds. haha. well i got home and read scriptures and prayer with my family and here i am... typing my day out...
well today was a great birthday, and it would not have been that way if it wasn't for my great friends and even greater family. i get a little teary eyed because of the profound effect my friends and family have had on my life. oh! the troubled teen i would be if it weren't for my great friends, and the ability they have to keep my on the straight and narrow. i love them all so much! i cannot even express.
well, i'm sad this day went by so quickly. thanks for all of you that made my day so great. i'm eternally grateful for you all. i literally am not doing any justice for all that they have done for me. i'm sure i'll write about this again soon to help the cause. but until then toodles! ;)
cannot wait to get my young women medalion! :)
thanks for reading!
hope you had a grand day!

--Samm.

faith and trust.

^^story of my life. haha. i think it's a story of every one's lives at sometime or another. i read a book today that is called "The Fault in Our Stars". my mom bought it on my kindle, and thanks to the graciousness of the "cloud" i get it too! :) it's about kids that have gone through cancer. i'm not very far into the book at all, like 6%... but the kid is talking about a fear. a fear of oblivion. i think that is the word he used. i think it can be a fear of everyone to not know what will come next, not knowing what is going on, and the fear of being forgotten... i kind of just feel like i need to have trust lately, not only in my self, but in my friends and family, and most importantly My Heavenly Father. I know i have the knowledge of right and wrong, and i know i have the one of the greatest opportunities on earth, which is having the Holy Ghost with me, as long as I live worthy of it. which i don't always do. which is the problem! i know what's right and wrong, what's smart and stupid, and what's wise or foolish. well... in most cases. but i still find myself caught up in the vain things of the world. always concerned about what's next, what is the next big thing? it was ward conference this last week and we had a speaker in young womens that talked about how we are always concerned with the big dance or the big game. and we always miss the little things that seem to make up our lives on earth. this is a goal of mine. to live in the moment, i know i won't always be perfect. but i want to live on focusing what is going on right now (along with the eternal perspective) but not dwelling on this that didn't happen, and probably won't. and things i really want to happen, but aren't willing to get out of my comforts zone to reach out and grab them.
i promise to live in the moment.
i figure i just need to have faith and trust in my Heavenly Father that as long as I stick with him and continue living wisely and righteously that my life will pan out how it needs to. as difficult as this can be sometimes, it really is something we will all have to face. once a situation gets to the point where it is out of hands, and into the hands of our Heavenly Father. i'm not sure if anything is making sense. this is kind of how i write papers. i just sit down and my thoughts travel through my fingers onto the keyboard. as strange as that seems. that would be why i always get low organization on my essays.
i feel a little bit better now. i just need to be more proactive and patient. and figure out what i really, and i mean really want.
good night folks. thanks for reading..

--Samm.

"deliruim"

i'm not sure what i'm doing on here. i should be reading "Maze Runner"... i'm almost done with it, but i'm sad for it to end because i'm not sure if i'll be able to purchase book number two of the trilogy. but if you really like the "Hunger Games", read it. It's kind of the apocoloyptic stuff i've gotten into lately. i also read this other book with the good pal McKenna, it's called "Delirium". it's a book about a girl who lives in a society where love is a disease. when someone turns the rightful age of 18 they get a surgery removing part of their brain, the brain the senses feelings. feelings like love. can you imagine this world without love? after these people's surgeries they forget a lot about their past life. they forget the love that they felt whether it was with a friend or an illegal romance. Another thing is these people don't dream. ever. which seems crazy, right? can you imagine this world without love? they classified love as a disease because of the hate it causes within people. they did this because it causes people to commit suicide and to do bad things, that love is what is killing these people. i won't give any details about the book as to not ruin it for you. but it is definitely something to think about.
i definitely think life would be utterly wasted without love. you wouldn't really have anything. sure you end up with someone you are paired up with and are required to have children, but what is the point. you never would really truley love your kids. or your husband. i'm sure the kids would love their parents, but after the surgery they are hardly anything, they are simply who gave the person life. and that seems like nothing! it just gives me gratitude for love, because without it life really would be a waste of time. why on earth would we even be here? and sure, because love does go sour sometimes, which draws people to do silly things. but honestly, there is always someone to love you. always. even though it may seem to be the end of the world because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, your world isn't over. there are plenty of other people that love you as a person. and there are plenty more to find! so why would you let one failure hold you back from dozens and dozens of successes? why not let that failure push you to be even greater? it is really only a failure if you let it be. i'm just kind of venting. sometimes i wish i could take my own advice.
something to think about!
Thanks for reading..

p.s. i suggest reading delirium. other than a cuss word here or there the book is overall really good. i'd give it a 7 out of 10.