happiness?

ugh. today feels like the longest day of my life, i feel like this morning was days ago. it was probably the prolonged headache that hasn't ceased reminding me of it's presence. but tonight was fun, which helps, kind of... but i feel like I'm really out of it lately. like where i will think back on what i have done in the past twenty-four hours and I feel like it has passed by so quickly and it just left me behind... i read a quote the other day that really had an impact on me.

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolve than it will be."

-Marcel Pagnol

I have no clue who Marcel Pagnol is, but i think the dude knows/ knew his stuff. But i really do think this guy was speaking directly to me. i can never seem to completely let go of the silly things of the past, i never seem to be as happy as i have potential to in the present, and i always seem to have a far less than positive out look about my future. i guess that's just something I'll have to work on. trying to take a step forward everyday, rather than three steps back. i think as the days go on my new years resolutions list just gets longer and longer...

I really like that quote by.. i think it's John Lennon. if i had to guess, but don't quote me on it... when he talks about how him mother always told him he needs to be happy, and when his teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he said "happy". then the teacher says "i don't think you understand the question." and he replies "i don't think you understand life." i'm just paraphrasing, of course. but is so true. if we had it in our goals to make every effort we could to be happy in our lives, we would be. i just wish that sometimes when you try to let yourself be happy, you could be. as some of us know, that isn't always Heavenly Fathers plan for us.

well, i just took some ibuprofen and I'm really hoping I'll get some sleep tonight so that i can get at least a decent score on my ServSafe test.

cannot wait to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow morning!

Thanks for listening to me grovel about my feelings. and good night.

--Samm...