I've been really vent-y lately... probably a little bit to much compared to the average person, but ah well. we can't all be perfect, right? something I've learned lately is that sometimes things are better left behind rather than sticking around and bothering yourself with the uncertainty and worries. it's just one of those life lessons that i have had to learn on a few occasions. in more ways than one I don't want to let go because of the faith/hope I've invested in the situation. while I know it's ultimately in my best interest to get out while I can and find a happier, more positive situation to be in. for the sake of my sanity and overall happiness.
it's just frustrating because there are people in your life that drive you crazy with their actions, and you just want to set the person straight because they don't understand what they're doing. simply because you want to help, but sometimes you just have to let friends learn for themselves...
^^this was from a few weeks ago, an unfinished draft i figured i should finish. i'm not really sure where to pick up from... i guess it's just weird how quickly friends can change while you're young. i've never been someone who stays with one person for forever, sometimes because of the situation and other times because of my own. but it seemed like days ago i things were on the other side of the spectrum. which makes sense, high school is full of people you love, people you can't stand, and change... not to mention the school part of it. it's not really for the bad, but not really for the good either. but i guess it's something i'll have to accept. it's not like it will be like this forever, right? ...it just seems like an over night change, like one second i was super close with one group than the next second it's changed. which isn't necessarily the case, because it was fairly gradual. we slowly just changed groups. this has happened before though... if you can never really hold onto something is it ever really yours? i guess it's like the quote i had on my mirror "if you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. if you're in a good situation don't worry, it'll change." which is completely true! because once you find happiness, it either falls apart, or something gets in the way. at least in this section of eternity. (i'm still working on my eternal perspective...)
i guess all in all, it is just high school, where nothing is forever. obviously. things will change, the chances are minimal of me marrying someone from my high school/town. which is kind of weird to think of, because it really is all i've ever known.. this little Podunk town of Price, Utah. *random! i was thinking... when i'm at volleyball tournaments and random strangers ask where you're from, and i of course say "Price" or "Carbon"---they either say "Oh yeah i used to live there" or they know someone who has, or they have no clue in the world where it is. random tangent. sorry.* change is just a part of life, probably one of the most difficult parts to accept really. because as humans we like comfort. and change is usually far from it. but can you imagine how stupidly boring life would be if nothing ever changed? or how silly you'd feel in heaven and everything always changed for the good throughout the course of your life on Earth?
i could probably go on for days, but i shouldn't.
this is really random... all of it. but i just felt as if should "finish what i started".
good night reader...
thanks for reading!
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