a long time coming

it has been forever since i have last posted. man! over a month. well school got out, obviously! i have a job at the Desert Wave Pool as a life guard and i LOVE it. i am overwhelmingly tan. I went to girls camp (my last year as a girl.. technically! I'll probably go back next year) it was fantastic! i had great leaders and fantastic YCL's that stood beside me. There will always be a special spot in my heart for girls camp. ALWAYS. even if the first years drive me a little crazy. ;) there is something that I've realized in my life lately. you could call it a growing trend perhaps. life is full of far to many crappy decisions. sometimes you think you've set your standard high enough and you've set it strong enough, but in the heat of the moment and life is going a million miles an hour, stupid stuff still happens. It's a part of that whole "natural man" part of living on earth. life's hard! Satan is not a stupid man. he knows each and every one of us incredibly well. and he knows where our Achilles heel is, so to speak.--- and that's one huge reason I'm grateful for the Atonement. we're all stupid in at least one part of our lives on earth! because we all have secret desires in our hearts, no matter who you are. welcome to being human! and things will go wrong, oh will they go wrong! but, we're here on earth to learn. That's how we'll become perfect one day, we'll perfect our imperfections, we'll strengthen our weaknesses, and become like our Heavenly Father and our Savior and Brother Jesus Christ. It'll be spectacular! I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, so being able to learn from them and become a more Christ-like person is a fantastic thing! something i am surely grateful for.
life, is also full of plenty of enough confusion to go around. sometimes you'll have feelings and you won't have any idea why they're there. but they are. no matter how much you lie to yourself that they aren't, they'll almost always be there. which sucks. because sometimes you just want those feelings to disappear: to save friendships, your heart, and your happiness. i figure that time will aid in the dissolving in the feelings. well, I'm hoping. but as always, only time will tell, if time tells. if that makes sense...
all i know is i can't wait for this specific chunk of my life to be done with. i don't cope well with confusion and unresolvable conflicts. but it's just one of those imperfections i'll have to perfect. perhaps.
thanks for reading. :)

--Sammm.